Book Update & Seer Vibes

First I'll start off with an update about the book.

The cover design is completed, the reviews are also done, editing will be completed this week and formatting will begin next week. The website is under construction (www.navigatingbpd.com) - You can check it out by the end of the month for the BPD awareness month pre-sale. The book is scheduled to be in print by June with a full launch event in July - which will also include another birthday sale.

Keypoints:

Website fully functional: May 2025

BPD Awareness Month Presale: May 2025

Book printing/soft launch: June 2025

Official Book Launch: July 2025

I realize it's been roughly a month since I've posted. I have quite a number of things on my plate that have been pulling my attention. Nevertheless, I've had so many things that have been going through my mind. Passive suicidality; BPD remission; Community; Complicated grief; Religion and it's effects on the personality; Spirituality/Intuition - dreams, soul ties, premonitions; Hope for the world & lack thereof and Generational differences in mental health and general functionality. I really could go on and on about so many things and all of these topics, but I may end up talking about just 1 for now.

I've always had this quirk where I could sense something coming, sometimes seeing it in a dream - usually very clearly. I've had several people call me a "seer" - which is a biblical term for a person that is able to see some aspect of the future. I had these feelings about my mother recently that all turned out to be true - exactly down to the detail. She moved in across the street and I figured she'd be watching my house and car - and I found out she was. I heard she had gone to church and I figured she'd start going back there, "study the bible" and attempt to restore our relationship. She did, in fact start attending frequently and started studying the bible. I knew the "reaching out" was coming next but would be done through my niece, food, and lastly using the church members to call a meeting where they would mediate our problems. The use of my niece happened and then the step up to food which I shut down quickly.

I am certain the involvement of the church is coming next and it scares the shit out of me. She is a person who needs to be heard at any cost and will react poorly when things don't work out in her favor. The church is very similar - on a larger scale. It scares me because I don't know how to take on two heavy hitters at the same time. On the flip side, I had a very clear dream about her leading me into a place where I would be attacked. I was anxious but prayed for clarification. The next day I had another dream that clearly lined out the same concept but in this version of the dream it was clear that what would happen is that those around me would be hurt by her actions. The reason I mention this is because I have a challenge sometimes believing in my dreams and intuition. No matter how many times they manifest. I think that it's because I'm fairly okay with pattern recognition. I thought maybe I just know the nature of the beast and that's why it played out the way it did. But the dream spelled otherwise.

This time around I had a similar experience with my ex. I had a feeling which has been playing out exactly to form. Obviously, I've figured this is because I know him fairly well. But I held on to hope that the opposite would be true. Yesterday I had a dream that clearly spelled out exactly what was happening, and in my sadness, I asked for clarification. Last night, I had a similar dream that spelled out the exact thing. I know exactly what it means and should probably act accordingly, but I can't bring myself to do it.

I've been doing really well lately. I've been Good at recognizing my emotions, addressing them as they came, knowing what to do for each and clearly asking for the help I need. My emotions have been less cumbersome and I can say that I've been fairly okay (outside of the stroke I had - yes. I also had a mild stroke which has impeded me from writing). I really appreciate the growth I've had an I endeavor to continue on this path. Although I will admit that the idea of going into remission scares me a bit. I'm okay with life being "okay"... but I'm not sure how I feel about fighting for a disorder I no longer meet the criteria for. I have always had a challenge with listening to people who were "healed" and then come back to say "you can do it too." There's also the idea of losing your creativity. It's been proven so many times that artists tend to tap into those real and raw and dark emotions which helps them to create the art you see and interact with today. But as soon as they move past that illness, they tend not to produce the kind of work that people relate to. I'm not doing this for appeal but I am afraid of losing the very thing that got me started, the very thing that makes me stand out, the thing that gives life and feeling and essence to all that I do.

Intuition doesn't necessarily connect to that but what I mean to say is that listening to yourself can be scary. Healing can be scary. Learning to accept the truth can be scary. The latter of the 3 things is something I'm having a hard time doing, especially as it relates to my ex. So I guess, here goes it. This part of the journey where acceptance is the next step...I'm not sure if I will or if I'm gonna be camped out here indefinitely.

Join me,

Dat Bahamian Borderline