The unnecessary recap

Hello fellow humans of earth!

I really have nothing to say. So I’ll give you a quick overview of the past 2 or so months that I’ve been missing. I briefly dated someone who after 3 weeks of knowing me claimed they loved me, asked me for money and got tired of my unstable personality. Needless to say that didn’t work out. I started medication again and I’m doing better in terms of emotional highs and lows although not eradicated. I’m still very distraught that I have no sturdy friendships or circle but that’s probably not going to change anytime soon.

If I had to say anything about this time in my life, even this year, it’s been a process of grieving. So many more things than I ever imagined need to be and are grieved. Not catching my priest in the office for a quick chat after my afternoon walk, not being able to have an afternoon walk for a period of time, not being held when the tears roll, not having a family to talk about…there is so much that my system has been functioning without for so long that I didn’t realize that I needed it in the first place. Although that brief stint of a relationship was it’s own level of toxic, it made me realize just how much I was missing while always being strong.

I never liked making New Year resolutions and I won’t do that but what I will say is I hope to feel loved next year.

Love,

Dat Bahamian Borderline

IG: @bahamian_borderline