Personal Reality Check

"My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all. The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all. But even if I could it'll all be gray (but your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad at all)" - Stan by Eminem and Dido.

These were the lyrics I sang all weekend as I woke up and as I went to sleep. When I'm spiraling it's difficult to acknowledge what a beautiful day it is, it's difficult to think that being alive is a good thing, difficult to see the bright side of just about anything. As I spent this weekend alone I was reminded that I need to consistently do a reality check to see where my mind is. And so do all of us.

Unless it's 1 particularly bad thing that happens, we don't usually get sad all in 1 day. There's usually a culmination of many things that pile up on us and seem to catch us off guard because we'd actually been ignoring it for such a long time. The laundry needs to be done and the anxiety that comes with having to go to the laundromat, the dishes are piling up but the pain in your back says just lay down a few more minutes, single people like me hugging a pillow for years for comfort, natural hair chicas that need to comb through the Brillo pad atop their head. These things seem small and insignificant but when they pile up on you, you look around and next thing you know you're going down the rabbit hole of how lazy you are, unworthy and insignificant. Catastrophizing much! But it's a reality.

I can't say it enough, when thinking about how to help a friend with mental illness, think ahead. Help them with the dishes or the laundry or dinner. You have no idea the effort it takes to do the little things in life when your mental health is failing. And if you really want to help, doing things that need doing is the best way. And please do them without judgment. If you're not sure you can hold back that scowl while sweeping the floor, pick dinner.

Nevertheless, the purpose of this blog was to call you, my readers to check your own mindset. Do you have things you're running away from? Do you have a relationship that needs a difficult conversation to be had? Some Anxiety that you're not facing or maybe just some tasks that need to get done?

Put paper to pen and get what's on your mind out so you can clear up your headspace. Let me know how it goes!

Love,

Dat Bahamian Borderline

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